So, you're in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and wouldn't have sex with you anyways.
What you will need 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun bed, the ability to grow a beard.
Step 1: put ring on wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month
Step 2: stop shaving and use the sun bed to gain a tan
Step 3: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step 4: remove all your clothes and break into your friends house
Step 5: use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid Face. if possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step 6: Enter your friends bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step 7: When she enters pretend to be unconscious, allow her to turn you over and try to wake up before you open your eyes. The injuries from your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more worried about your wellbeing instead fearing the naked man in her room
Step 8: when she asks you what happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and asked the date. If it's September 18th she will say 'September 18th' to which you must reply 'no what year is it?'
Step 9: upon hearing the year say 'it worked' pretend to loose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying whatever it is that has worked took great effort
Step 10: if your friend is a curious person she will probably ask 'what worked?' Even if she doesn't ask this question it is important you now say the words '(insert friends name), I'm from from the future' in your most deadpan voice
Step 11: pause for 10 seconds to allow incredibleness of the situation sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you look many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you came from a post-apocalypse future where a war is currently taking place
Step 12: raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tan line on your wedding finger, if she's educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, clothing and other items, cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step 13: now here comes the hard part - the monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mentioned all these points:
A) you are married to each other in the future
B) Her current boyfriend is dead
C) the world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war machines. The whole situation should be backed up by The Terminator franchise
D) in the future your relationship isn't going well
E) you've came back in time because you can't help to feel that she be happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
F) her boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on this day in 6 months from her present. She should stop him from going to work that day.
G) if she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions your flaws your time travel Logic, because you cannot change the past, simply refer to Back To The Future
Step 14: unless if your friend is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selfishness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step 15: There is now no possible way that you're aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself will make her happy. And as far as she knows you had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step 16: after sex, ask to borrow some clothes and leave
Step 17: shave your beard off and coat your wedding finger fake tan. Carry on as if nothing happened. There will be 3 possible outcomes:
1) during the sex some feelings that she didn't know existed are awakened and she will leave her boyfriend for you
2) life will carry on as normal
3) Will be filled with guilt because this moral grey area where you aren't sure if what you've done counts as some new kind of low level rape. You will take your own life by hanging, overdose, or wrist cutting.
I do not own this content!!!
Time Travel
What you will need 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun bed, the ability to grow a beard.
Step 1: put ring on wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month
Step 2: stop shaving and use the sun bed to gain a tan
Step 3: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step 4: remove all your clothes and break into your friends house
Step 5: use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid Face. if possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step 6: Enter your friends bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step 7: When she enters pretend to be unconscious, allow her to turn you over and try to wake up before you open your eyes. The injuries from your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more worried about your wellbeing instead fearing the naked man in her room
Step 8: when she asks you what happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and asked the date. If it's September 18th she will say 'September 18th' to which you must reply 'no what year is it?'
Step 9: upon hearing the year say 'it worked' pretend to loose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying whatever it is that has worked took great effort
Step 10: if your friend is a curious person she will probably ask 'what worked?' Even if she doesn't ask this question it is important you now say the words '(insert friends name), I'm from from the future' in your most deadpan voice
Step 11: pause for 10 seconds to allow incredibleness of the situation sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you look many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you came from a post-apocalypse future where a war is currently taking place
Step 12: raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tan line on your wedding finger, if she's educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, clothing and other items, cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step 13: now here comes the hard part - the monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mentioned all these points:
A) you are married to each other in the future
B) Her current boyfriend is dead
C) the world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war machines. The whole situation should be backed up by The Terminator franchise
D) in the future your relationship isn't going well
E) you've came back in time because you can't help to feel that she be happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
F) her boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on this day in 6 months from her present. She should stop him from going to work that day.
G) if she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions your flaws your time travel Logic, because you cannot change the past, simply refer to Back To The Future
Step 14: unless if your friend is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selfishness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step 15: There is now no possible way that you're aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself will make her happy. And as far as she knows you had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step 16: after sex, ask to borrow some clothes and leave
Step 17: shave your beard off and coat your wedding finger fake tan. Carry on as if nothing happened. There will be 3 possible outcomes:
1) during the sex some feelings that she didn't know existed are awakened and she will leave her boyfriend for you
2) life will carry on as normal
3) Will be filled with guilt because this moral grey area where you aren't sure if what you've done counts as some new kind of low level rape. You will take your own life by hanging, overdose, or wrist cutting.
I do not own this content!!!
