Hi,
I was diagnosed with SPD, and I thought it was quite accurate :
-I don't get attached to people,
-I don't mind stayind alone for a long time,
-people think I'm cold because my face stays in a neutral expession(sometimes people think I'm angry or in a bad mood)
-I don't feel strong emotions, I do have emotions but they seem to be at a minimal level
But the thing is, some other things don't match the description, like:
-I do want to be close to someone but at the same time I don't like people, I hate being social, it doesn't make much sense even to myself.
-I am attached and care about some persons: my mom, my brother and my cats who live with me.
When my father lived with us, him to, but now that we don't see each other every day, I sometimes don't see him for months and don't care. Plus when I think of something bad happening to my mom for example, I feel slight panic and saddeness, but my father: nothing, and it's not that I dislike him, he's nice and all
-I worked in a shop, and I could smile to the clients, collegues, chat with them, and so on. It was tiring, I didn't care about about them or what they told me but I had no problem doing it.
So is it really SPD?
PS: I'm french, so sorry if my english is incorect
***
Salut, Papillon67. It's precisely the fact that you are both detached from and attached to others that makes you schizoid. The word schizoid is, after all, just a fancy way of saying "split". The chief distinguishing characteristic of the schizoid personality is its split and contradictory character: the schizoid individual violently splits off from their profound emotional neediness and longing for others and adopts a quasi-robotic attitude. The schizoid even fools himself or herself into believing that they, unlike the emotional and irrational normal people, are above emotion and see the world from a purely intellectual and detached point of view.
Of course, this is bullshit. Far from being unemotional, the schizoid robot is despairing, angry, contemptuous, snide, and tormented by a sense of emptiness that no robot ever experiences. But the schizoid is mostly split off from all of the drives for intimacy and connection whose frustration underlies all their misery and incapacity to enjoy life. The more split off you are from your real self and real desires, the more schizoid you are.
Being schizoid isn't about being truly detached from the social world. People who are truly detached from the social world do not suffer from any of the ennui, misery, and sense of deadness that schizoids experience and attempt to bury with alcohol, drugs, video games, and countless other kinds of escapism that only serve ultimately to make their misery even greater. Being schizoid is about being torn between a profound longing for connection with others and a profound fear and loathing of intimate connection with others.
Can you relate?
I was diagnosed with SPD, and I thought it was quite accurate :
-I don't get attached to people,
-I don't mind stayind alone for a long time,
-people think I'm cold because my face stays in a neutral expession(sometimes people think I'm angry or in a bad mood)
-I don't feel strong emotions, I do have emotions but they seem to be at a minimal level
But the thing is, some other things don't match the description, like:
-I do want to be close to someone but at the same time I don't like people, I hate being social, it doesn't make much sense even to myself.
-I am attached and care about some persons: my mom, my brother and my cats who live with me.
When my father lived with us, him to, but now that we don't see each other every day, I sometimes don't see him for months and don't care. Plus when I think of something bad happening to my mom for example, I feel slight panic and saddeness, but my father: nothing, and it's not that I dislike him, he's nice and all
-I worked in a shop, and I could smile to the clients, collegues, chat with them, and so on. It was tiring, I didn't care about about them or what they told me but I had no problem doing it.
So is it really SPD?
PS: I'm french, so sorry if my english is incorect
***
Salut, Papillon67. It's precisely the fact that you are both detached from and attached to others that makes you schizoid. The word schizoid is, after all, just a fancy way of saying "split". The chief distinguishing characteristic of the schizoid personality is its split and contradictory character: the schizoid individual violently splits off from their profound emotional neediness and longing for others and adopts a quasi-robotic attitude. The schizoid even fools himself or herself into believing that they, unlike the emotional and irrational normal people, are above emotion and see the world from a purely intellectual and detached point of view.
Of course, this is bullshit. Far from being unemotional, the schizoid robot is despairing, angry, contemptuous, snide, and tormented by a sense of emptiness that no robot ever experiences. But the schizoid is mostly split off from all of the drives for intimacy and connection whose frustration underlies all their misery and incapacity to enjoy life. The more split off you are from your real self and real desires, the more schizoid you are.
Being schizoid isn't about being truly detached from the social world. People who are truly detached from the social world do not suffer from any of the ennui, misery, and sense of deadness that schizoids experience and attempt to bury with alcohol, drugs, video games, and countless other kinds of escapism that only serve ultimately to make their misery even greater. Being schizoid is about being torn between a profound longing for connection with others and a profound fear and loathing of intimate connection with others.